Scared of OTK Boots? Here are 7 Ways to Wear Them

If you take your cues from fashion magazines, over-the-knee boots should be everywhere.  They're on-trend, slightly edgy, flattering, and add a dose of sexiness to any outfit.  But if you look around you, you'll see that most women (at least in San Francisco, which I know isn't saying much) are still clinging to the basic black ankle bootie.  The black ankle bootie is to San Francisco in 2016 what a black North Face jacket was to any college campus in 2008.  It's not unflattering or ugly--in fact, it's universally flattering and inoffensive.  But after seeing it a gazillion times on myself and others, it can get a teensy bit boring.  Shake things up with an OTK boot--and don't worry, there are many ways you can wear it, depending on how daring you are:

1.) Over skinny jeans

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This is probably how most people will wind up wearing the OTK boot, because it's just the least scary option.  That's not to say it's a boring option (are OTK boots ever boring?) but if you want to plunge into this trend without attracting too much attention, this could be a good way to dip your toes in the water.  Dark-wash skinny jeans paired with flat, black OTK boots could even be appropriate for work, provided your workplace is casual.  Higher-heel OTK boots over skinny jeans work for a night out, especially if paired with a crop top and a leather jacket.

2.) With a baggy dress

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This outfit is statement-making, but not over the top--that's why the dress is baggy.  An oversized but short sweaterdress or tunic looks awesome with over-the-knee boots because it balances one of the age-old fashion tricks: cover up one thing, and show off another thing.  Eyes will gravitate to your super-sexy legs, because the bagginess of the dress will detract from all your other, um, assets.  This outfit is obviously too much for work, but could be cute for daytime or nighttime on weekends.

3.) With a mini shift dress

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This style is similar to the baggy dress style, but with a bit more structure.  Shift dresses conceal the lines of the body, but aren't quite as drapy as loose tunics, so they add a bit more polish and elegance.  If the boots are flat, this look could even be work-appropriate (again, depending on workplace) especially if paired with a blazer.

4.) With an A-line mini skirt and sweater

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A-line skirts balance innocence and sexiness very well.  The ones currently in style (usually denim or corduroy with buttons down the front) conjure up images of high school students in the late 1960s.  To give these skirts a modern, more daring twist, pair them with OTK boots, making sure to keep your top half covered up with a high neckline sweater.

5.) With a fit and flare dress

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Fit and flare dresses are perfect with OTK boots.  This is a great transitional outfit between winter and spring, when you aren't sure if it's pants weather or dress weather.  The fact that fit-and-flare dresses don't cling to the hips also means

6.) With a high-neck bodycon dress

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This is probably one of the most daring options, and I wouldn't really recommend it for anything other than nightlife (that said, for many people nightlife outfits are a huge part of their wardrobe!)  As long as the neckline is high, this getup can still be appropriate for very specific occasions, and it's the perfect outfit if you really want to make an entrance.  If it's a bit too sexy for your taste, you can always dress it down with a looser jacket.

7.) With shorts

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Woah, before you tell me this is too Pretty Woman for you to attempt, think again.  Provided the shorts actually cover your butt cheeks, and provided you're not wearing a super-tight crop top showing boatloads of cleavage, this look can actually be really cute.  For some extra coverage, add a looser open sweater or a flowy tee.  If this look is still too risque for your taste, consider opting for flat-heeled taupe boots instead of high-heeled black ones.

This is What Happens When you Search the Most Expensive Clothing on ASOS

For those of you who don't know, ASOS is an internationally popular clothing site that bands together all sorts of labels and designers, as well as its own ASOS brand.  Known for being fashion-forward, ASOS gathers items that range from classic to absurd.  And it just so happens that the more money you're willing to pay for an item at ASOS, the more absurd you're going to get.

ASOS offers you the opportunity to search from lowest to highest price (I normally do this when I'm shopping) but also highest to lowest, for the upper crust of society who want to find a good $400 scarf without being forced to look at all the plebian normal-priced items.  So, in a moment of curiosity, I decided to use this search feature to see just what awesome stuff ASOS is selling at its highest prices.  I was not disappointed:

1.) Forever Unique Body Conscious Dress with Sheer Inserts $521

After looking at this item, I'm convinced that Forever Unique is just a secret name for the unwanted surplus of revealing Forever 21 dresses that teenager girls' moms refused to buy for them.  I mean, come on.  If you saw this dress without a price tag, would $521 ever come to mind as the potential price?  This reminds me of the kind of thing Snooki would buy immediately after raking in her first check from The Jersey Shore.  

2.) Orla Kiely Giant Snowdrop Sixties Shift Dress $623

I am pretty sure my five-year-old sister owns this, but that aside, what material is this made out of to justify that price?  Purified unicorn fur?  I get that this dress is doing the whole '60s thing, and that's cool, but honestly, it's so unflattering that if someone offered it to me for literally 99% off, at $6.23, I'd be like, "No thanks," and then wonder why the person was demanding such an unfairly high price.  I'm not saying I'm the pinnacle of style or anything, but I'm pretty sure this dress could double as an androgyny cloak for religious puritans during the hot summer months.

3.) Clover Canyon Neoprene Dress in Ashford Castle Print $416.90

In other words, "High school student's fashion project."  What is this?  From what I can tell, this is some bizarre, unexplained mixture of flowers, four different types of plaid, rainbows, grass, and a pheasant.  It's like the visualization of a badly translated "On The First Day of Christmas."  But don't worry, it's not like it's that expensive. You too can own this dress version of a David Lynch movie for only...$416.90.  I wonder what made them decide it was necessary to add the extra $16.90 onto the price of $400.  I guess $400 just doesn't do this dress justice.

4.) Wood Wood x Disney Serena Shell Top $322.15

Do you want to repel men and spend loads of money?  Then this shirt is perfect for you.  Yes, it may be polyester (the fabric of the wealthy, naturally) but it's also covered in creepy, distorted pictures of a vintage Mickey Mouse.  I mean, what else could a girl want?

5.) Forever Unique Frill Pencil Dress with Embellished Waist $568.50

Do you want to look like a walking vagina with extra flaps?  If so, this is the dress for you.  Come on, Forever Unique.  What are you trying to do to rich people?  They obviously don't know any better.  Oh, and in case you were worried about this dress being made of good material, never fret: it's polyester.  Polyester.  How are they passing off all this polyester as luxury?

6.) ASOS WHITE Pony Hair and Leather Top $341.10

I think this shirt solves the age-old dilemma of, "My sweaty long-sleeve crumpled leather shirt needs more pony hair!"  If you've been living your life wearing non-pony-haired leather shirts, you obviously haven't lived.

7.) House of Holland Jack Dress $568.50

Spoiler alert: this looks exactly the same if the model is facing front, and by that I mean just as terrible.  Whenever women humblebrag about being too curvaceous and naturally sexy to avoid distracting lecherous men and jealous female competitors, I am going to steer them toward this dress.  There is no way anyone could check you out in this dress, or even mistake you for an adult human female.  Actually, if you stare at this dress for too long it starts to look like Heffer, from Rocko's Modern Life:

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8.) One Teaspoon Kingpin Carrot Jeans in Brando Wash $312.68

Believe it or not, there is a way to get this sexy, flattering look at home: just go to Goodwill, find a pair of light-wash jeans that belonged to a tall man, and then chop them off at your ankles.  Voila.  But of course, that ankle zipper is pretty hard to come by so it's probably worth shelling out the $313 for that alone.